The latest much publicized libel case between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard has taught all of us some important lessons. The defamation case has turned in favour of Johnny Depp and has resulted in Amber to pay a whopping $10 million to Johnny. The case resonated with many people who are victims of domestic Violence and clearly portrayed that domestic violence has no gender. Following are my top 5 lessons from the case:
Midlife Crises can ruin you
Johnny was in his 50s when he met Amber who was in her 20s. Both were in a long term relationship with their respective partner before they met each other but fell for each other while shooting for a movie The Rum Diary. It's said that Johnny was going through midlife crises and was apparently bored in his relationship with his long term and stable partner Vanessa Paradis. He fell for a way younger partner for apparently adding fun and passion in his life. When you are in a long term relationship, boredom and monotony can ruin the spark in your relationship. But midlife crises can make the urge for adventure and passion higher and one can sway towards wrong people. In this case, people are alleging that Amber married Johnny for money & fame which eventually led to the downfall of their relationship. Johnny paid a huge price for being in this relationship with his image being tarnished as a domestic violence abuser.
Fantasy is better in head
In the entire case, there were recordings of Johnny admitting in his frustration that he had considered Amber his God and how big that mistake was. There is nothing like "The One" for anyone. It is what we make our relationship to be. His "one" was probably Vanessa, his previous long term partner of whom he got bored when his midlife crisis took over. Even if you get your "The One" love of your life, it is important to keep your unwarranted urges under check so that it doesn't destroy the fantasy that you have already made come true. Many times, the fantasy we make up in our head of someone, doesn't turn out the same in reality which can create frustration and rift in our relationship. It's important to not get stuck in our fantasized version of our infatuations and spend considerable time together before getting married to understand the "real" version of the person.
The Subconscious selection of parents in the form of partners
Both Amber and Johnny had an abusive childhood. While Amber's father was an alcoholic who was emotionally absent from her life, on the other hand, Johnny's mother was physically and emotionally abusive to Johnny. When our inner childhood trauma is not healed, we subconsciously seek partners in our romantic relationships who replay the role of our abusive parents. It's important to understand these patterns and be conscious when it comes to partner selection and be mindful of the fact that we should be operating from our worth not from our wounds.
Drugs & Alcohol are the ticket to greater downfall
Although the allegations of domestic violence by Johnny to Amber have been proven wrong in the court, Johnny has himself admitted that he has had drinking and drug problems. These bad vices escalated the problems and fights he has had with Amber which resulted in difficulty in fighting off the allegations of abuse of Amber. These are mere escape routes from evading current problems which can further lead to a bigger wormhole. Hence it's important to stay away from these vices and do the inner work required to ward off the inner urges of these addictions.
Just Money or Beauty cannot attract Real Love
Johnny had a lot of money and women probably threw themselves on him. But this didn't prevent him from being in a relationship that was not only physically and emotionally violent towards him but also tarnished his reputation globally and destroyed his career. Money is no doubt important for sustaining a decent lifestyle on this planet but the sheer presence of it should not be the foundation of any relationship because if its presence attracts a certain mate to you, its absence will definitely ward off the person from you. The same holds true for outward beauty. Ofcourse, we cannot be Pollyanna and talk like money is not important in a relationship, it definitely is . In fact, as per research, one of the biggest reasons for divorces across the globe is the lack of money. But, having said that, real relationships should be formed on the basis of intangibles like genuine love, generosity, care & affection more than the bank balance or beauty of the person.
Relationships are complicated. The above points just touch the surface of the big iceberg of the cautions we need to take while being in a relationship. What are the lessons you learnt from the entire case? Comment below and share your knowledge.