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10 ways to start loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved. How to increase Self Love

Updated: Apr 7, 2021

The feeling of “I’m not good enough” is deeply rooted in our minds by Family, Society, and Media since childhood. But we don’t have to believe this non sense. The main cause of stress in our lives is low Self Love which attracts bad relations in our life, low confidence and low motivation. We cannot expect anyone to treat us with Love unless we ourselves treat us with love, respect and compassion. So here are 10 easy ways to deeply fall in love with you:

1. Mirror Work

Famous healer late Louise Hay believed in mirror work exercise. You just have to look in the mirror, smile at the person you see and say aloud, “I love you”. Now how many of us do that on a daily basis? We may say I love you to dozen people but not to ourselves. Why so? Because we treat ourselves the way we think we deserve to be treated. And the outer world and people just reflect that.

2. Write Affirmations

In every nook & corner of your house, write positive & uplifting statements like “I’m good enough”, “I am lovable just as I am”, “I am powerful”, “I am strong”, “I am Love” , “I ask what I want”, “I speak up for myself” etc. Write it on mirror, kitchen, near main door or any area where you will look at it often. This reprograms our mind subconsciously. Your mind starts believing what you tell it repeatedly. And this is an easy no brainer way to do it.

3. Change your password

World renowned therapist, Marissa Peer cited this idea that we should replace our password with statements that raise your self-worth. For e.g.: make your password to “Ilovemyself*^%&&%6876764”, or “Iamworthy&^&%&%&” whatever combination you make, pair it with difficult and complex characters for difficulty level. The idea here is that you use your password daily or twice or thrice a day for logging in. When you type self-love statements repeatedly, your subconscious registers these and starts believing it. This will gradually train your brain and you’ll have high self-love with this technique.

4. Things you love about yourself

Make a list of 10 things you love about yourself. People with low self-love usually are highly critical of themselves and do not pay attention to strengths or endearing qualities of their personality. List 10 things down in your journal & use it regularly.

5. Ask family & friends

Many times we don’t know what makes us lovable because we are busy criticising ourselves in our head. So best way is to ask your family & friends what 3 things they love about you and note this. You might be surprised by their answers.

6. Journal

Every morning, you should journal positive statements about yourself. I firmly believe, “what you appreciate, appreciates”. The more you speak highly about yourself the more your mind believes it by default. Writing is a powerful way to do it. Repetition is the key to train your mind.

7. Limit Social Media

Social media fixates us on comparing our lives with other seemingly perfect lives. We forget that people project only there best life on social media. We get influenced by it and suffer from low self-esteem & envy. So best is to only use it for updates & inspiration.

8. Stay clear of destructive criticism

There are 2 types of criticism- Constructive & Destructive. The former lifts you up. It makes you better but the latter shatters your self-love. Destructive criticism is done by people who want to demean you, make you feel bad about yourself. So stay clear of them.

9. Pamper yourself

Imagine your best friend is upset and is feeling really low. What will you do to him/her? You will pamper them. Hang out with them at their favorite places. Indulge them with their favorite activities etc. So take care of yourself in a similar way. Become your own best friend. This does not mean escaping from the realities of your negative self-talk. It is about replacing those negative self-talks with activities which make you energized and joyful. So next time you have a thought about yourself, “I’m not good enough”, replace it with an activity at which you are really good like maybe playing chess. You have a thought “I’m so fat”; replace it with dancing which makes you feel good about your body.

10. Practice Gratitude

This one is my favorite. Not only rewiring our mind with affirmations appreciates our self-love but also thanking universe/God for what we already have shifts our outlook about everything. Every day after waking up and before sleeping, one should thank Universe/God/Higher Power for whatever we have like food, shelter, family, friends, financial security etc. Trust me within weeks you will feel much better about yourself and Life in general.

Which is the best point you loved in this article. Comment below and share which tips you will apply in your life. Wishing you a Life filled with Love & Light. Thank you for reading.

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