Balancing Masculine & Feminine Energy - How we Create Relationship Patterns -Valentine's Day Special
Yin & Yang, Purush & Prakriti whatever name you want to give, our culture is filled with the wisdom of two energies, masculine & the feminine. Irrespective of our gender, we all have both of these energies. Why is it important to learn about these energies? When our energies are not balanced, it creates a lot of emotional, spiritual & behavioral issues in our lives which is mirrored in the outside world through the relations & situations that come in our lives. As a society also, we can experience Masculine & Feminine imbalance which can create conflicts, aggression & difficulties for the society as a collective. First let's understand the characteristics of the Divine Masculine & the Divine Feminine.
1. Divine Masculine
Divine Masculine is the leading, directional & planning energy. This energy wants to win, it craves freedom. It can be associated with deep breathing, stillness & decisiveness. This energy is direct and projects outward with decisive, positive action; it secures, strengthens, and "has a giving nature." Traits of the Divine Masculine include logic, reason, action, firmness, survival, loyalty, adventurousness, strength, and rationality.
2. Divine Feminine
Divine Feminine Energy on the other hand wants to relax, craves love & safety. It is expressive by nature, it is emotional. It is a flowing energy and likes movement. This energy wants to feel love. Divine feminine energy is cyclical. It's directed inward, it nurtures and assures, and it "has a receiving nature". The Divine Feminine encompasses intuition, nurturing, healing, gentleness, expression, wisdom, patience, emotions, and flexibility.
These energies are even demonstrated in our bodies; the left side of the brain is considered "more logical and analytical" and is responsible for reasoning and language; it is therefore associated with masculine energy. Meanwhile, the right side of the brain is believed to be the "more artistic and spiritual" side and is responsible for addressing one's emotions; it is therefore related to the feminine.
As I mentioned before, either male or female can have either of the energies more dominant. Like, a male can have more of the divine feminine and a female can have more of the Divine masculine. They both together can work well as a team together as long as there is polarity among the two. Polarity means opposite energy. Like a masculine energy will tend to attract and get attracted to feminine energy and vice versa. The problem arises when either of the two energies operate from a wounded zone. Let's understand what is a wounded masculine and a wounded feminine energy.
3. Wounded Masculine
A wounded Masculine energy lacks trust, is controlling & is closed off. This energy doesn't express how it feels and suppresses emotions. How does one have a wounded masculine energy? If as a child you have experienced an environment where masculine energy maybe in the form of a father figure wasn't present or the relation was abusive or dysfunctional, or he was overly critical or dominating, then you can have wounded masculine energy. When you have this, you tend to fill your own lack of masculine energy by becoming more of the masculine energy. You may have all the positive qualities of a masculine along with it's wounded traits. This impacts your relations as your pattern of attracting or getting attracted to people mirrors these wounds. You will attract people who you tend to control, lack trust in them & there is no expression of feelings in these relations.
4. Wounded Feminine
A wounded feminine energy tends to be a people pleaser, is indecisive, feels unworthy and lacks boundaries both for self & others. People can walk all over these and they tend to make everyone happy at the cost of their own well being. If as a child you have experienced an environment where Feminine energy maybe in the form of a mother who wasn't present, or was overly dominating or the relation was abusive or dysfunctional or lacked feminine warmth of a loving & nurturing mother, then you can have wounded feminine energy. When you have this, you tend to fill your own lack of feminine energy by becoming more of the Feminine energy. You will attract people who tend to control & dominate you, you always try to please them, you cannot say "no" to anyone, you lack boundaries and people walk all over you. You are indecisive and there is a lot of emotional imbalance & mood swings in your life. There is a lack of organized structure in your life.
Of course, not everyone has all the negatives of the wounded masculine or feminine. You may have some. Some may have both the wounds of the masculine & the feminine. But what can we do about it? As long as we operate from our wounds, our relations will be dysfunctional both with our inner selves and the outside world. So how can we heal this?
5. Healing Wounded Masculine & Feminine
First step in healing is to become aware that the wound exists. Maybe before reading this article, you may not even be aware that such wounds exist in you & the patterns of your relations are because of that. Thus, first is to become aware. Check whether your relations empower you or drain you? If it drains you, then check whether you tend to attract similar kinds of people in your lives. If yes, then accept there can be wounded masculine or feminine energy or both. If it's wounded masculine, then adapt more of the Divine Feminine traits in order to heal it. Develop trust in the universe or Life, surrender to the now, let go of the need to control. Become more expressive, be in touch with your intuition and feelings. Love more without expectation. Along with being the Masculine provider and giver, become the feminine nurturer also. Get into activities that help you move like dancing, running or any physical activity. If it's wounded Feminine, then adopt more of the Divine Masculine traits. Be Assertive (not aggressive), lead more, bring planning, discipline and structure in your life, create boundaries, stop people pleasing & learn to say No. Set goals, have vision and plans. Practice stillness, quietness, meditation and deep breathing.
As a society, we value masculine traits more than the Feminine, like achieving success, wealth, power, control etc. But in order to have Harmony in society, there has to be balance in feminine energy as well. We need to practice compassion, love and imbibe nurturing qualities for that. Sadly, feminine traits are considered weak and even the modern feminists value and encourage masculine qualities to be imbibed even by women. Having masculine qualities is good, but without the nurturing aspect of the feminine, the material things achieved by the masculine will be meaningless.
My own energy leans towards the divine Masculine as I have grown up in an environment that valued achievements highly. Thus, I tried to suppress my feminine energy thinking it's a sign of weakness. Although, I achieved a lot as a result of having good traits of masculine energy but what I have also realised is that I also had wounds in the masculine energy because of my certain experiences with the masculine energy. I lack trust and I refrain from expressing my feelings. But after I became a mother, it helped me to connect back to my Feminine energy. And I am on my journey to heal my wounded masculine through trusting Universe/Life more, letting go of the need to control my environment and surrendering to the now.
Thus, through this article, I have tried to highlight what is masculine and feminine energy. How the wounds create imbalance in our lives and what can be done to heal it. There is a lot that can be elaborated. Maybe in the coming posts I will deep dive into this. What is your opinion on the concept? Comment below and enlighten!