Updated: Dec 2, 2020
We all have been in situations where we are filled with high self doubt which paralyses us to take any step further. This hinders our decision making ability and we constantly procrastinate our dreams and goals and live a life filled with regret. Here are some methods that have helped me to overcome my self doubt. These are easy and actionable:
1. Zero in a category
First of all, take it slow. Understand which area you are having high self doubt. Take one area at a time. For example you might be having doubts regarding your career choices, relationship choices & confidence. Select just one category at a time and work on it. This will remove the pressure on you to excel at everything and step by step you will remove your self doubt in every area of your Life!
2. Identify your beliefs
Try to become aware about the source of your beliefs. Where are they coming from? Write them down. For example, you might be having self doubt about choosing a career. So write down the thoughts that are coming to you. It could be like this, "whether this profile is right for me?", " I won't be able to perform", "I wouldn't be happy in the long-term if I choose this profession" Etc. Once you have all this written, try to remember how did you end up having these thoughts? What do these beliefs remind you of? Have these beliefs developed out of family or society's pressure or it has been due to your own experiences. Identify the source of your beliefs. Once you do that, it will be easier to reprogram your beliefs. It is ok if you are still not able to identify your source of beliefs. Just writing your thoughts and beliefs regarding a situation will help you gain clarity eventually!
3. Analyse your Past
Try to analyse your past decisions or situations where you have had high self doubt. What did you do in that situation? Did you go ahead despite your fear & self doubt or you took advice from someone? Analyse your actions & it's consequences. Whether you listened to your own self or others & whether that decision was right or wrong. Under the right decisions, write down what actions led to taking the right decisions. Try to take these action steps whenever you are stuck with high self doubt. Under the wrong decisions, write what went wrong & what lessons did you learn.
4. Listen to your Soul
Most of the time, we are stuck with Self Doubt when we are not aligned with what our Soul wants. And to understand that, make two columns in your journal. Write Ego in the left column and Soul in the Right Column. If your reasons to take a decision is coming from a place of fear, insecurity, a feeling of inadequacy, greed, a want of power, fame, prestige or wanting to hurt someone; be honest and write those reasons under the Ego column. On the other hand, if your reasons to make a decision is coming from a place of positivity, passion, creativity, a desire to serve/help others, love etc, write it in the Soul column. Now if you want to take decision which is true to your own soul and which is not filled with self doubt, go ahead with the Soul column decision. It will reward you in the Long term. The Ego based decision might look tempting in the short term but do not go ahead with it. It can turn out into something which doesn't make you feel at peace with yourself and might further increase your self doubt!
5. Trust Universe
Once you have made the decision which is Soul based, learn to trust Universe. Let go of the worry of the outcome and believe that the Universe will align things for you which is best for your Soul at the right time. When you operate from a mode of Love, you lower your self doubt & increase the chance of manifesting what is good for you. When the intention is right, you attract things that are right for your Life. When this happens, your self doubt will automatically fade away.
6. Gain Expertise
Suppose, you are having self doubt in public speaking. The major cause of self doubt could be not knowing what to speak and how to speak. So gain Expertise in your area. Research about the best practices and master that skill. Your self doubt will automatically lower, when you have familiarised yourself with it.
Taking the public speaking example further, once you start practicing it initially in front of a mirror, then in front of a small crowd, then increasing the audience size, your self doubt regarding your ability in public speaking will go away. Practise and you will become a master! When I was young and was learning to ride a bicycle, I had a lot of self doubt whether I will be able to do it. After various falls & lots of practice, I was finally able to ride a bicycle. With that, my self doubt regarding most things went away. If I am able to learn to ride a bicycle then I will be able to do anything!
8. Increase Your Self Confidence
The more you put yourself out there, the more confident you will become. The more you do things in which you have high self doubt, the more you will find it easy to remove your self doubt and fear. The only way to remove any fear is to go through it.
9. Find a Mentor
Try looking for a mentor in your field. Someone who has been in the same shoes as you, can guide you better on how that person dealt with self doubt. What decision he or she took? How did they deal with failures, setbacks etc. They can tell you what could be the worst case scenario and help you prepare to face it in a better way.
10. Be Easy on Yourself
Lastly, don't forget we are Humans. We all have flaws and have weak moments that are filled with self doubt and fear. Use these moments to understand yourself and your beliefs. Learn to transform it but don't get stuck with it if you are not able to. In any case, a good decision will be helpful but failures and setbacks teach us more than any good moments can. They add rich experience in our Life Journey!
Which of the above techniques you will apply to overcome your Self Doubt? Comment below and share your methods.
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