What is Self-Love? Difference between Selfishness, Vanity & Self-Love

Updated: Dec 2, 2020

#selflove #love #selfishness #vanity #whatisselflove




What is Love? It is accepting someone completely as they are. Taking care of them and uplifting them even when they are at their lowest & sticking to their side in their difficult times inspiring them to move towards better. So why do we NOT love ourselves? We tend to go over the top to love someone but truly ignore & neglect the first important person in our lives that is our soul.


1. What is Self-Love?

Self-Love means to have high respect and priority for your own well-being & not sacrifice it to please others. Self-love means having compassion towards oneself. It is about being kind & forgiving to one’s own soul. In today’s times, we have set high standards for ourselves. On top of it, media gives us such unrealistic goals that we constantly compare ourselves to it. We are becoming highly critical of ourselves. Self-Love tells us to accept ourselves with our flaws. Nothing is perfect in this universe. Self love tells us to accept things as they are & not to beat ourselves around it because of our inability to achieve it.

2. Airplane example

This is a classic example. Imagine you are flying in an airplane with your family. The oxygen level inside the plane has dropped due to turbulence & the pilot advices everyone to put up the oxygen mask. So what will you do? Help your family in putting up the mask? Or wear the mask first then help your family? If you answered the former, mind it you won’t be able to save your family because till the time you help them, you might faint in the plane. God forbid, you might as well die. So the wise thing to do here is to wear the mask first then help your family. This way, you are helping yourself & your family. Unless you save yourself, how the hell you are supposed to save your family? Same is with Self Love. Unless you Love yourself deeply, be kind, compassionate towards yourself, you won’t be same towards the outer world.

3. Mirror Effect

In fact, your outward behaviour is a direct reflection of how you feel from the inside about yourself. It works like a complete mirror. For e.g.; A person is highly critical of everybody. He doesn’t see the good in anyone. Whoever he comes across, he says a mean word or two to him. So is he a highly intellectual person who is able to pinpoint flaws in others which they themselves can’t? NO. He might think himself to be that but in reality, deep down he is highly critical of himself. His inner hatred of himself is reflected in his outward interaction with everybody. How you feel inside reflects outside. On the other hand, a person is highly motivating & uplifting who sees the good even in his enemy. This sort of person might appear to some as a fool who gets taken advantage of, but in reality, this person is a highly secure person brimming with Self Love. He is at peace with himself in the inside that is why he is at peace with people he meets outside. He accepts them with their flaws & sees the good in them despite their flaws.

4. Self-Love Vs. Selfishness

Generally self-love is confused with selfishness but there is a difference. Self-Love focuses on being at peace with yourself. The concept is that when you are complete & fulfilled from the inside, you spread that love outside. An empty bottle has nothing to offer. Selfishness is an empty bottle which snatches away from others bottle in order to feel fulfilled. It is driven from fear & lack mentality. Here the agenda is to be ahead than others at the cost of others while Self Love is driven from abundance mentality. It is driven from Love towards oneself & everyone. Here the goal is to uplift yourself and others. When you become light, that light illuminates others as well.

5. Self-Love Vs. Vanity or Pride

Vanity or Pride is other end of the spectrum. It is driven from ego. A vane or proud person may say, “I am the “only” most beautiful person in the world. There is no one better than me”. While on the other hand, a High Self Love person will say “I am beautiful & so are you”. The difference here is that a high Self Love person acknowledges his/her beauty as well as of others while a vane person considers himself/herself as the most beautiful person & dismisses everyone else’s beauty. The vane person will give physical beauty more importance and will have a tendency to become insecure from other’s beauty while the high Self Love person will give inner beauty more importance & will be secure with others beauty as well.

So, I hope there is clarity on Self Love with this post. There can be pages written on this. What is your take on Self Love? Is your Self-love low or high? Comment below & share your thoughts.


Watch Video





31 views1 comment

Recent Posts

See All