Recently, I was going through an audio book "Spark Joy" by Marie Kondo of "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up" fame. The book is a sequel to her first book and goes in depth about how tidying up can change your life. Her philosophy is to keep only those things that spark joy to you and discard the rest so that you can focus on things that You Love. In her second book, "Spark Joy", she talks about a term called "Click Point". It is a Moment when you realise that after discarding all but things you love, you have all you need to feel content.
I found this term really impactful as this point not only applies for things, but everything in your life. It can be about relationships, you let go of all the relationships that don't serve you and only those remain who you really love and vice versa. It can be applied to your dreams, you let go of those draining your energy and keep only those that fuel you with passion and you look forward to fulfilling it on a daily basis. The same can be applied to your work, activities, thoughts or your everyday to do list. Although, I don't know whether one can reach a state of an all time contentment but tending towards the same is better than mindless pursuit of society defined success parameters like fat paycheck, numerous properties, trophy partners etc. The following ways you can tend towards the click point and build more satisfaction and contentment in your Life:
1. Make a Joy List
As per the definition of Dictionary, Joy definition is - the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires: delight.
List out all the things, activities, people, thoughts, feelings, work, etc that spark joy to you. Joy is a happy feeling that you get by either looking, feeling or doing anything. It could be an object which gives you Joy, it could be a person talking to whom lights up your day, it could be a thought or a memory that warms up your heart. Make a list of all these things that spark joy in your soul. It is not necessary that you may feel that happy tingling feeling with everything. So that does not mean you discard them. When the decision to list down or particularly identify what sparks joy becomes difficult, ask yourself these questions especially for objects:
Do you Need it? Or
Do You Use it? Or
Do you Love it?
Of course for people, needing and using is not applicable and appropriate. But instead you can ask Do you Love them? If you don't necessarily Love them, ask, Do you have responsibility towards them? If yes, then keep them on your list.
2. Visualise Your Ideal Day
Most of us don't know how their ideal day should be. No one spends time on defining what we want. So take out your paper and jot down how your ideal should be on an average weekday. It's important to think of an average weekday as not everyday realistically could be a happening weekend. Hence, how your ordinary day should be? From morning till night, what kind of activities will the day comprise of? What kind of thoughts you will have the entire day? What kind of emotions and feelings you want to have the entire day? What kind of people you want to have in your life? What kind of conversations you have with them? How do you feel towards them? What kind of atmosphere is there at your home and work etc. Make a detailed list. This is your ideal day vision. Ofcourse, not everyday will be your best ideal vision but having clarity to what you want ultimately can help you feel more satisfied.
3. Build a Gratitude List
Once your ideal day is clear, then build a Gratitude List. As per your list, what is already happening in your life. What activities, relationships, thoughts, work, etc you already have as per your desire? Make a list of them. Start writing them with the statement, "I am happy & grateful that I have ….". Many times we are so focussed on what we want, that we forget what we already have.
4. Make a Discard List
Now, identify which activities, relationships, thoughts, work etc are not serving you and draining your energy. These are the things you need to let go from your life. With objects it might be easy but with people, thoughts, work you do, this step can be a little difficult. For this, understand the cost you are paying by keeping them in your life & slowly & gradually step by step let go of these. You will realise, how much lighter you will feel once you have let go of all things you don't love or which doesn't spark joy in your Life.
5. Taking Action
The final step is to take action and live an intentional life where you only have those things that you love and which spark joy to you and you have let go of all things that don't serve you and drain your energy. Take out a couple of hours today, and make the joy list, ideal day list, gratitude list and the discard list. Take steps to remove the things that are in the discard list and make your day such that more of the things that you love are incorporated in your daily routine.
Satisfaction comes from the feeling and clarity about what you want and knowing that you have given your best in a process to build a life of what you love and letting go of what doesn't Spark Joy to you. It's a lifelong process but on the way you build Satisfaction and Contentment in your Life instead of pursuing what others have defined for us and running a never to finish race. Personally for me, I will not say that I have reached the click point but I know for sure that I have found a way that is taking me there. What are your thoughts about this? Comment below and share your opinion.
Buy the Book
The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo
Spark Joy by Marie Kondo
Recommended Reading
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